REVIEW: Crimson Peak bleeds horror

I will be sleeping with all my doors closed for the next while. Where’s the nearest hardware store? I have to buy a new deadbolt…DON’T LET THEIR SMILES FOOL YOU!

A warning that there may be some slight spoliers ahead. Read at your own risk. I try to avoid these as much as possible, but I can’t really explain how I feel without explaining some of the movie. 

Help. Me. Rhonda.

Before I went to go see Crimson Peak, I’d probably seen the trailer about five or six times. I’m a huge horror/thriller movie person, but for the last few years, I’ve been hungry for something to satisfy that rogue terror tooth in my mouth.

This *might* be it.

Crimson Peak is an interesting tale. Starring Mia Wasikowska, Tom Hiddleston, and Jessica Chastain, the film is about a budding author, Edith (Wasikowska), who falls in love with an English inventor, Sir Thomas Sharpe (Hiddleston) marries him, and moves in to his home, where Tom’s sister, Lucille (Chastain) also lives. Edith is actually from New York, so when she moves into the new home, she has to head out to a remote location in England. It’s set just before the turn of the 20th century, and it’s quite gothic.

This movie has it all. Romance. Mystery. Sheer terror. Death. Ghosts. Need I say more? And the deaths are absolutely disgusting. The ghosts are unlike anything I’ve ever seen. They’re so creepy, so psychologically disturbing – I am a fan. In fact, I haven’t felt this perturbed since I watched Ringu without my mom knowing, and then proceeded to have nightmares for about a week.  It is infinitely more violent than its American counterpart.  Thank you, Jessica Chastain, for all the nightmares I’ll probably have for the rest of my life. She is a nutjob in this movie, and does a darn good job.

Del Toro did an excellent job with the ghouls and souls that walk this home. They’re disgusting. I didn’t like them in the sense that they were my kind of creepy, and yes, I did sleep with all my doors closed later that night. The long-armed, sometimes oxblood silhouettes are everything you don’t want hanging out in your subconscious. It’s something reminiscent of a creature from Army of Darkness. Blegh.

Your new home, complete with this creepy ghost, can be yours if you marry Sir Thomas Sharp! (Universal)
Your new home, complete with this creepy ghost, can be yours if you marry Sir Thomas Sharpe! (Universal)

Not to mention all the extra creepy things he threw in: from dead bugs to dying butterflies, everything is a metaphor for the multiple levels of decay the audience comes to understand about the story – and some of it’s characters.

There is some violence in this movie, but when you encounter it, oh man is it bad. Not bad as in terrible, but bad as in the kind of violence that puts other gore movies to shame. But does that mean the movie overall is good? It has its moments. Where I found fault with it was in the back story. It was a little too long for my liking, and I was hoping we could get to the part where Edith moves into the home right away.

Would I recommend this movie? Strictly as a great horror film – yeah, sure. Would I go crazy; is it worth an hour-long line up? Probably not. It’s too bad that it’s coming out around a time where there are some other great flicks out, but I can’t see it hitting number one at the box office any time soon.

Eight emaciated ghosts out of 10.

If you’re brave enough, check out the trailer below!

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